Last time we talked ..

Today makes one year since I last spoke to my sister.  One year since I heard her voice and her laugh.  It's funny how I remember so much about that conversation, but other points in time I have zero recollection.  I was sitting in the hospital room with John after his second back surgery and he was pretty loopy on pain meds.  My parents had taken the kids for dinner that evening, so I could have some quiet time at the hospital with my husband.  Little did I know that I would have a LOT of quiet time thanks to all the pain killers he was on.  He would nod off in mid-conversation ... pretty funny if you ask me.  Anyway, I forget who called who, but we were on the phone for a good 45 minutes chatting about nothing really, and ... it was nice.  It finally felt like we were getting back to a normal sister relationship after a few years of a strained relationship.  I remember being completely at ease and happy when I got off the phone with her.  She was even telling me I should move back to PA, so she could help with the boys.  She loved them so much!  And I knew she'd be a huge help if we ever did move back.

We talked about that coming weekend.  My mother-in-law was coming down on Saturday and staying for the week to help me with John when he got home from the hospital.  John was also to be discharged on Saturday.  On Sunday she said she and Mike were going to the pumpkin patch to get their pumpkins for Halloween.

I also recall she was making dinner while we were on the phone.  In fact we hung up just before they sat down to eat that night.  She was making tacos ... one of Mike's favorite meals.  I remember she didn't know how much water to add to the skillet until I reminded her it was on the taco kit box.  haha  At that point she needed to go so she could set the table and they could eat dinner, so we said our goodbyes and hung up.  One thing I DIDN'T say and I will regret it until the day *I* die ... I love you.  Three simple words and I didn't say it.  They were right on the tip of my tongue, but I just didn't say it.  I've tortured myself with that guilt for a year now, and I will continue to beat myself up over it for the rest of my days.  Tears stream down my face as I type this ... I can't help it but be so sad and so sorry I never told her I loved her.  The last word I SPOKE to her was "bye", not "I love you".  I'm sure she understands and has forgiven me, but I cannot forgive myself.

It's hard to believe we're two days away from the first anniversary of Ashlee's death.  It's been one of the fastest and slowest years of my life, but I have to say ... I'm glad this past year is almost over.

On This Day ...

Four years ago, on this day, my little sister married her best friend and love of her life.  On a day that is also our mother's birthday, so it was a doubly-fun day!  I was dancing the night away with my husband and everyone was fawning over little Jacob (he was only 16 months old at the time).

It's crazy how much life can change in just a few short years.  But, for now, I just want to remember what a magical and happy day that was. :)

We started the morning off getting our hair done at Ashlee & Mike's apartment.  I absolutely LOVE the way my hair turned out!!

Once we were done with our hair and make-up, the limo picked us up and we headed to the church to get dressed and do some pre-wedding photos with Ashlee's CRAZY photographer!  haha

We were running short on time, so almost immediately after we finished photos it was time to start the ceremony ... it was absolutely stunning.  Here are just a few of my favorite photos from that day.

The reception was just as magical and beautiful as the ceremony.  We ate, danced, some drank (not me, I had a 15 month old to deal with!) and had a wonderful time celebrating the marriage of Ashlee and Mike.  I had so much fun helping her pick a dress and planning her bridal shower in the weeks and months leading up to their wedding.  It was kind of bittersweet that it was all over in the blink of an eye.

Have you ever seen a more beautiful bride or a more in love couple?!

Ok, so their photographer might have been "crazy", but she did an awesome job on their photos.  :)

Anyway, I'm so glad I was there to celebrate with them.  I wish Ashlee were still here to celebrate with Mike this year, but I know she's smiling down on him this year, this day ... and every day. :)

Crock Pot Honey Garlic Chicken

This was yet another Pinterest find.  The original recipe can be seen here.

I have to say that I just love, love, love my crock pot.  Even now being at home all day, I'm still just as in love with it as I was when I worked outside of the house full-time.  I love throwing a bunch of stuff in the crock pot and having dinner at the end of the day!

Without further ado, here's the recipe -

Crock Pot Honey Garlic Chicken

Ingredients:

1 package of boneless, skinless chicken breasts
3 garlic cloves, chopped
1/2 C soy sauce
1/2 C ketchup
1/2 C honey
pinch of basil
salt and pepper to taste

Directions:

1) Cut your chicken breasts in half, sprinkle with salt and pepper and place in the bottom of the crock pot.

2) Chop up your garlic.  I cheated by copying the original recipe and used this!

3) Mix garlic, soy sauce, ketchup, honey and basil in a bowl and stir.

4) Add mixture to crock pot.

5) Cook on low for 6-8 hours or on high for 3-4 hours. Remove chicken from the crock pot and transfer to a covered plate to keep warm.  Reduce the sauce in a pot until thickened to desired consistency.  Serve sauce over chicken.

6) Serve and enjoy!  I served mine with rice and broccoli. :)

Pittsburgh Trip ~ June, 2013

The weekend of John's birthday (June 23rd) we traveled to PA for an extended weekend!  This weekend had multiple purposes. First we were going up for the Congenital Heart Walk in North Park, so John also scheduled his brother's Bachelor party for the same weekend, so we could do everything all at once. It worked out really well! We went up on Thursday and just hung out with the family that evening. On Friday we went to one of John's friend's house to swim in his new pool. Fun, fun!! The kids had a blast, even Henry who is scared of water all of a sudden. Josh (our nephew) and Dana (John's sister) came with us, so it was even more fun!

   

 My parents got up there on Friday night and checked in to the same hotel as us. The on Saturday morning we headed out to North Park for the Congenital Heart Walk. You can read all about it here. Saturday night was Jason's bachelor party, so MIL and I went and hung out with the guys at the bar for a little bit before they left on their limo bus. It was a lot of fun, but I was definitely ready to go home ... I am so not a bar kind of person anymore. I'm not sure I ever really was. Sunday was John's birthday, but we didn't see him until the very end of the day. That I kind of regret, but he was hung over, so I was trying to just give him the space he needed. Normally if I'm around him and he's hung over I get annoyed pretty easily with him, so at least this way that never happened. We (my parents and I) took the kids to Kennywood that day. This is something my parents did last year with Ashlee and Mike, and I wanted to keep the tradition alive, so that's what we did. Josh and his dad came with us also, which I think was pretty fun for Jacob, but it was also really fun for me. We rode mostly water rides that day as it was SO hot and humid. SO HOT! That day was just so fun! I hadn't been to Kennywood since I lived up there more than 10 years earlier.

   

 Also in between riding rides, we stopped and watched a pretty cool stunt show that is new to the park since the last time I was there. Here's a picture of Jacob and I with all the stunt guys.

 

Congenital Heart Walk 2013

It pains me a little to write this post, but I'm going to anyway so I can have it documented for our family.  This past June (on the 22nd) was the annual Congenital Heart Walk in Pittsburgh.  Last year I was invited to attend, but opted to stay home because John was going to PA already for a guys' weekend and I wanted time at home alone.  Now, in hindsight, I wish I had gone since it was the first and last walk my sister ever did.  I already had planned to attend this year, though, when Ashlee passed away, so I kept that promise and still went anyway. It was a super hot and humid day, but sunny and not a cloud in the sky! We brought the stroller with us just in case one of the kids pooped out and needed to hitch a ride. I can't remember for sure, but I think we finally stuck Henry in when we were about 3/4 of the way through the walk. He did really good, though, considering he's a two year old with short little legs. haha

 

It was a hard day, but I was proud of myself that I held it together for the most part. A few tears, but thankful for sunglasses ... no one could tell! My oldest cousin and her daughter were able to come, so it was really nice getting to see them. My younger cousin was supposed to be there, but couldn't come last minute .. we missed him!

   

 The walk was 1 mile and went through North Park. It was such a pretty walk! I ended up walking almost 2 miles because I'd run ahead to tell John something and then walk back to see how Henry was doing. That went on for awhile which is when I just stuck him in the stroller. lol Got in some good exercise that day, though!

   

 Here's Henry bringing up the rear with Pap. So cute!

 

This walk is also very kid-friendly! Lots of fun stuff for the kids ... face painting, balloon animals .. all sorts of fun stuff! After the walk was over we went out to Sewickley, so I could go visit Ashlee and see her new headstone. It was finally put in in late May/early June. That, too, was pretty painful, but I'm glad I went. Her headstone is gorgeous. Mike did an awesome job picking it out.

   

 "It really sinks in when I see it in stone" 

~ Miranda Lambert - Over You

 

Daddy's Day 2013

This past Father's Day we did something a little different.  My step-dad, Rick, had duty crew that night for the fire company, so we couldn't go out to dinner that night.  Instead we decided to head to WV for the day and spend some time at the Hollywood Casino and Race Track in Charles Town.  It was the kids' first trip to the race track, so they had a blast watching the horses race and "placing bets" (John let Jacob pick a few random numbers and we placed bets on those horses.  I think we may have actually won back a few dollars.  lol)

 

 The first race went off without a hitch ... or so we thought. This little guy knocked his jockey right off as soon as he left the gate and then just aimlessly ran around the track. haha

   

 After watching a few of the races it was time to head inside for our brunch buffet! OMG was the food wonderful. I love it there! It's a little pricey, but so worth it.

   

 We bet on a few more races before leaving, and I think we won a few more bucks back! I'm not a huge horse racing fan, but it was kind of fun to actually get back a little bit of our money. I think the dads in our lives enjoyed themselves ... I know the women and children did. :) Plus it was a fun and different way to spend our Father's Day this year. Happy Father's Day to all the wonderful dads out there, but most of all to my step-dad, my father-in-law and last, but certainly not least, my husband and father of my two precious babies. :)

   

 And, just for fun, I'm adding in these photos .. I did this picture at the end of May for a fun Father's Day card this year and all the dads in our lives LOVED it! Here it is:

   

 And, here's the fabulous Father's Day card I made! :)