Roles

Mother, father, sister, brother, husband, wife ... all of these, plus a ton more, are the different roles one might fulfill in a lifetime.  I'm sitting here catching up on some of my DVR'd television shows when I just sort of had an epiphany and I felt the need to write about it ... for me, my greatest two roles are MOTHER and WIFE.

John and I have been together for a total of 11.5 years.  We've been married for just over 6 years.  While we may have our fair share of fights, and we may bicker and argue about some of the dumbest things imaginable, at the end of the day, we love each other very much.  He's my best friend, and I think I can speak for him when I say I'm his as well.  We tell each other everything.  We have the deepest respect and understanding for each other.  I may not always do the "right" thing or say the "right" thing, but my love for my husband never changes.  I feel like I've been ready to be a wife since I was in my early teens.  And, God brought this man into my life at just the right moment.  For that I'll be eternally grateful.  I love you, boo, forever and always! <3

In addition to always knowing I was meant to be someone's wife, I've always had a strong maternal instinct.  I've always loved babies and small children, and I just knew that once I met, fell in love with and married that perfect person, we would most definitely have babies together.  A few months after John and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary we started trying to conceive our first baby.  It took us three months to conceive Jacob.  Three months seemed like an eternity.  I don't know how couples deal with trying for months and years on end.  My heart truly goes out to them because I know just how sad each month was for me when I'd get a negative test result, and like I said, it only took us three months to conceive our little Jacob.

The day Jacob was born was both one of the happiest days and one of the scariest days of my life.  After all, I had done my fair share of babysitting as a teenager, but I had never been completely responsible for a little life before.  Over the past four years I've most certainly made my fair share of mistakes, but this "job" comes with a huge learning curve.  I'm learning every day how to be a better mother.  I can only hope and pray that some day Jacob will realize how hard I worked to make sure he had the best mother, and the best life, possible.  I love you, Bubba, to the moon and back!  <3

When Jacob was about the age Henry is now (21 months), we started trying to conceive baby number two.  This time I was more informed on how to tell when I was ovulating and it only took us one month (one cycle!) to conceive our sweet little Henry.  Again, the day he was born was equally one of the happiest and one of the scariest days of my life.  Now I was not only responsible for one little life, but I was responsible for TWO!  And, I had the biggest mommy guilt about bringing a new little guy into our world.  I knew in the long run Jacob would love having a sibling.  He has a built-in best friend for life!  But, I was terrified of the impact our new little man would have on our family dynamic.  I felt bad having to divide my time and attention among both boys, and still my husband.  And, I won't lie ... it was a VERY rough transition.  But, we made it through.  Together.  As a family.  And, I'm truly thankful for that.  Henry was the best little addition God could have given us to expand our family.  I love you, monkey! <3

I can only pray that maybe one day we can add one more little person to complete our family.  If it doesn't happen, I will still be eternally grateful for the family that I have been blessed with, but I just feel like we have so much love to give ... there is always room for one more!  :)